Losing it all the hard way

An occasional update of the highs and lows of weight odyssey.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

So this is what its like...

to retrain your mind and direction. In an earlier blog, I wrote about triggers that used to cause me to eat. With the situation I'm working through right now, I found out its still in full swing. Today, I actually found myself craving something bad for the wrong reasons. It was innocuous, a piece of pie. In the grand scheme of things, the sacrifice wouldn't have been that great. It's really okay to indulge every once in a while. But, I would have done it for the wrong reasons. I do my best to try to keep my indulgences small like a mini version of a candy bar or maybe a small serving of ice cream. I love apple pie. Seriously, just love the flavor, the texture, the way it illuminates my senses, and the way it seems to settle my nerves is amazing. Again, I occasionally eat desert, it's not a big deal. But today, I would've wanted to eat to fill a need. In this case, the need was that I'm still dealing with a couple of family issues that are painful. I would've eaten to dull the pain and that is never good. That is how I had to be put on the journey in the first place. Given a different day and circumstance it might have been different. Today, I wanted to buy and eat the whole pie but didn't. Maybe some other day, I will eat that small piece. But for today, it wasn't right. This is what its like to retrain your mind. For the record, I had V8 and a bottle of water instead.

October 30 is just a few weeks away.

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