Empowerment: give qualities or abilities to

I'm not talking superpowers but rather just plain ordinary things. Empowerment: sitting in an airplane seat; buckling the belt and then taking in slack. Empowerment: Being able to walk into a store and purchase off the rack a size 2x shirt. Empowerment: knowing that sweets, although not altogether bad, have no control over you. This is a God type of empowerment. Walking on water empowerment. Seeing the miraculous pierce the mundane. Knowing that 99 pounds ago, I didn't have it. Now that I have empowerment, the rest of the journey, though tough, will not be one that is insourmountable. Empowerment: knowing you can finish when once you thought it was impossible to take the first step.

Confession again...

This week I had a net gain/loss. I didn't gain but I didn't lose. I slipped just a tad on my eating. It was my wife's birthday, had cake in the morning, had a cupcake in the evening, and yes, I indulged in pizza. Not too much, everything in moderation but I believe somewhat responsible for the net gain/loss. Am I upset? Nah, I didn't gain. Am I going to try harder? You bet. In part, wanting to atone and, in part, wanting to change things up, I am changing up what I eat...again. I have actually tasted vegetarian breakfast sausage and found out, for me anyway, it wasn't that bad. Egg whites instead of whole eggs. The little things that help enhance an already lofty goal.

Am I going to have to confess every week? I hope not. But, I haven't lost my way. More next Saturday. Another picture posting when I lose 100. Coming soon to a blog near you.

Review and Preview

So at long last, I declare an almost one hundred loss. After much trying I am actually beginning the morph into what I would like to look like. My eating habits have curtailed to the point where eating out of the ordinary - the way I used to eat - has become very dangerous. Dangerous because of the harm that I can do to myself now should I revert. Dangerous because it is a reminder of that which I no longer want to be. I am still me. I haven't changed. What I am doing has changed and that is what I was hoping would happen. I am very careful what I put in my mouth because I know that will impact not just how I look but how I feel about myself.

For the report: my eating habits. Three rather round yet reserved main meals sprinkled with snacks made up of fresh fruits, vegetables, and heart healthy nuts. A diet replete with egg whites, vegetarian sausage, grilled chicken and only sprinklings of white cheese. I have discovered 90 calorie flat bread that has all but replaced any idea of sandwich bread. I have discovered the true meaning of purified water and the filtration system I use is very helpful. I am actually beginning to have more energy not from the one to two cups of coffee I'm learning to restrict myself to but from the actual food. Food has become a need rather than a want. It has become energy rather than a comfort. That doesn't mean I don't have the occasional piece of chocolate or cake. It's that I don't eat that much and that often.

My exercise. My joining the 24 hour fitness club was a gift that keeps on giving. My exercise routine includes 20 minutes of cardio - treadmill, bike, or rowing machine followed or preceded by the circuit. The circuit consists of the following: Dual axis row 50 pounds 20 reps; rear deltoids 50 pounds 20 reps; chest press 50 pounds 20 reps; prone leg curl 50 pounds 20 reps; leg extension 50 pounds 20 reps; arm curl 50 pounds 20 reps; arm extension 50 pounds 15 reps; rotary calf 50 pounds 15 reps; ab crunch 30 pounds 60 reps; leg press 100 pounds 20 reps; and vertical row 30 pounds 50 reps. It has taken a while to get here. From my perspective this and other variations will help to sculpt the body I am so fervently trying to save.

The combination of it all, diet, exercise, and attitude are a habit that I can much better live with than the one that I was dying with. We all die. I am aware. With God's help, I can overcome the next one hundred pounds.
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When I lose the final pounds, I will post a new picture. I promise.

Stress, eating, and remembering

On January 21, 2010 my mother-in-law died rather suddenly and my blogging days had to be suspended until now. I will get back on course by Saturday. No, I haven't forgotten, just busy. My wife and her family are still processing and coping and doing quite well but the sting of the loss is still wearing off.

In my life, I have learned that the key to remembering someone is to survive yourself. This journey began in earnest because of a death. The driving force behind the success of this journey is wanting to live as long as God allows. Realizing that anything can happen, what stewardship I have in this life will be well spent by doing everything I can to allow God to propel me into health.

A part of dealing with stress is the need for a visceral reaction to the emotional churning inside. The stress can be connected to anything in our lives. I'm not certain exactly why - comfort, familiarity, or trying to cope - eating certainly attaches itself to stress. The hardest part is saying no.

I have learned when I am full. I have learned when to stop. It has been a lot of work to get here and I can't turn back.